What I am wearing (can you spot the eyeliner?): jeans-Topshop Jamie, top-handmade (self-sewn!!), cardigan-knitted by my grandma
Oh this weeks been a hard one. Appointment after appointment and I actually posted on my Instagram account and here on wordpress about which I am very proud of. I have so much in my mind, that at the end of the day, I am left just terribly tired, quiet and even sad. Everything just gets too much, gaining weight, eating normally, feeling the taste and tasting the things-with pleasure. It has been hard for me, focussing on normal eating habits, good food, life, school, therapy and even fashion and all that jazz. Sometimes I feel very sad, for what I’ve missed these few years, I thought I was improving myself, when in reality, I was going backwards. my style to so big, everything was or is so big and oversized (I need to – want to sell that!) and I did not grow as a person. I’ve only ever looked up to people, but not up to myself and changing this perspective is hard work. So after one of the worst days yesterday, today I am not going to a party, I am planning my meals for the following week and reading through all the books I have wanted to read through! I’d like to sew so many things, but where is the time and the skill? I still need to get into posting more often (on Instagram mainly) and getting into tough with my favorite people (also my friends) and planning my birthday party and not freaking out. There’s so much I want to do. Making a mirror, a skirt, tulle skirt, coat like audrey, plucking my eyebrows, fixing my nails, making meals, food shopping for the party and buying buttons for the dog skirt I want to wear soon! And I really need summer or at least spring, it really is way too cold here in Munich and I don’t want to leave my bed, warm and cozy, in the mornings! Well maybe that won’t change with the seasons, but I am really seeing my progress, style-wise and thinking-wise, I am enjoying life again. Making party, going to concerts, reading books, watching series, making pictures of myself, wearing makeup and wanting to to so many things like going to a carnival and collecting sweets, going to a flea market and to a ballet show and thingies like that. I even bought myself a retro luggage bag yesterday, for 8 euros, which is fairly, a good price. Today I’ll only be chilling.