What I am wearing: handmade (knitted by my grandma) sweater, Topshop Jamie jeans,  C&A hat (not too fancy sadly, but I am hopefully working on something this weekend!)


Oh hello Friday. I’ve been waiting for you since Monday.

I am so done, I am so tired and I must treat myself with something this afternoon, after this exhausting, painful week. Next week will be better, I promised that to myself. But am I really that bad or do I seem to like having said mean things about my personality face to face? I’ll do a post on that subject soon, because I am really wanting to get this message out there, that it hurts, hearing those things, even from only one person. And so now I’ve planned to not go food shopping on weekdays any more (at least the big haul), but on Saturdays and so to have time in the evening to cook a nice meal and relax with a cup of tea, not coming home at half past 7 in the evening and being completely stressed out.

Here’s my fish story of the day: I haven’t been eating meat and fish for 3 and a half years now and that is (even if just partly) because of my eating disorder. I can say that now, because I am honest with myself and while I am not proud of the whole meat industry and laboring and cruelty in that compartment, I (at the moment) do think it is okay to eat it from time to time. As something special. So now I started off trying fish again, I wanted to do a french fish recipe and so I bought myself a nice quality fish, fresh, that is important. And little me did not know any more that fresh fish is better eaten at that same day, not like me, buying it on a Tuesday and wanting to eat it on a Saturday. Well today I found out and guess what, I wasted 20 euros on food this week, simply because of my dumbness. Shit happens, but I am quite sad about it, because I was so brave for buying it and I had this whole plan of really doing it. Cooking and Eating fish. This is a big step for me, so now I’ll plan to cook it next week and to buy it on that same day as I eat it. This afternoon I finally want to sew again, I’d like to bake a bread (because I’ve run out of it and would like to eat it this evening while watching a good film. This is my afternoon and tomorrow will be a very crafty day. Keep yo eyes pealed!

– February the 10th 2017




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