dressin'

Ruby red

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What I am wearing: Topshop Jamie trousers, Dorothy Perkins (2nd hand) pull/shirt, Bijou Brigitte earrings, Daniel Wellington watch, Colibris glasses, 2nd hand belt

Tuesday

Is it normal for me to be sleeping all day long? Isn’t the weekend supposed to be just for that cause? What if my weekend felt like shit, somehow, even tough I experienced nice things, as well? Maybe it is all because I have my period, I am a girl and my hormones are just going like crazy, but I feel so empty. I feel like all of my energy has just flooded out of me, I am cold, I am hot, I am freezing, I am tired and I don’t know weather I am hungry or not. I have taken on weight again, and this confuses me so much, have I been eating too much? This buffet thing on Friday was too much I could handle. Do I compare myself to every girl who has or had a eating disorder? Even when I want to have a break from this subject, when I am watching this beautiful series called Skam, a beautiful Norwegian series, I get confronted with anorexia and eating healthy. No matter what I do right now, I am just heavily tired all the time. After school I eat and go to bed, I sleep until 4 and then I do something again, then I’ll have appointments, eat and go to bed again. I feel like nothing, and I feel like no-one could like me the way I am now. But I must like myself, that is the first problem, I must love myself and do these things, that I like. I like blogging, but it scares me as well. I like sewing, but it scares me that I fail. I like reading, but it stresses me to read much much more than I currently am. All I want is energy from good food, love from good people, freedom in my free time and some strength. Today I’ll go to a discussion about Feminism in my school, where there is supposed to also be food and well, I am scared that I am too tired, but I would really like to be more involved in this subject. Especially as it’s a subject that is so important to me, in my thinking, the way I eat and think I am worth. And we are probably going to watch the speech from Emma Watson, which – let’s be honest – has already gone a classic.

– February the 21st 2017dsc_0117dsc_0118

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