What I am wearing: mums (tighter-sewed) black blouse, Pull&Bear skirt (last year’s), Colibris glasses, Sixx earrings
Last Thursday I finally got to read again, and so am I hopefully tomorrow. I’ll keep on with Cinder, which I really like, because it is quite a powerful character and I like her for being herself. I might also start to read in the evenings again, but then I am so so tired in the evenings, I am not sure how much I’ll actually read. Then again I could watch Skam, a beautiful, beautiful Norwegian series, which confused me for the last a few days, but after the feminism discussion at my school yesterday, I think I am able to watch it on and not be too influenced by a character named Noora who also had or has a eating disorder. It is really difficult for me to talk about this subject in real life, because although I am so much better (also how I look now than a few months ago), it is a sore subject for me and I am not really healed, if one can ever say this about such a tricky illness. But I ate the apple today, when I was hungry and a few months ago, even years ago, I wouldn’t have, because lunch was only one and a half hours away. Anyways, today I want to start learning some more about good nutritious food, that will give me energy and now feel me drained afterwards, because as I have said this a hundred million times. I feel tired. Like actually all the time and I don’t want to feel like this anymore, I want to sew and read and have therapy and watch series and go to parties without freaking out. I want to be able to go out when I please and actually be productive. This idea, Noora actually gave me, because she talked so much about which food is good for one to Vilda and that was when I noticed, that I had blocked out that part for the last months, completely. I did eat more fruit this week, which feels…healthy, but I also want to know, which food contains which good things, too and how to balance it out between healthy and (what is?)unhealthy stuff. Gonna get started today and have many therapies this afternoon, 3 to be clear and that’s a total of around 4 hours, I think, I am not sure, but at least I don’t have to cook this evening. Instead maybe I’ll sew my blouse, which is waiting for me since Sunday.
– Februar the 22nd 2017